Unhealthy
by Nekare
Summary: Remus is sinking fast in a very unhealthy not to mention addicting charade of a relationship. The worst part? He can't seem to stop. RLSB


So this is my first non-crappy HP fic (not much, anyway), so feedback would be really appreciated (but who am I kidding? I'm just a review whore). This came to me one day at 3 am, so even when I edited a bit and added some more, it's still somewhat shaky, and adding that to the fact that English isn't my first language…well, just don't be so hard on me. Yes, I changed the tenses intentionally.

**Unhealthy**

**By: Nekare**

Sirius had come to his bed that night without notice, as he always did; soft lips taking Remus away from his sweet dreamland, empty words (at least to his ears) caressing his senses. Their guilty little secret.

Remus was still half asleep when his bed dipped with the extra weight, moving aside with practiced ease. Apparently, Sirius been completely satisfied with his date with Lorna, his most recent attachment (not girlfriend, that would mean to be tied down to someone, and Sirius Black would never commit to anything. or anyone, for that matter). Her perfume still trailed after him, and Remus couldn't help but to sneer from it. Sirius didn't notice, of if he did, he didn't show it.

The dark-haired boy's hand tangled in the other's hair, seduction in his body language and hungriness in his eyes. Remus gave in – again, as always – without much complaint, his members already becoming jelly as he moved pliant into Sirius' embrace, managing for a few minutes to evade the danger warnings that his brain kept yelling everytime the animagus would come too close for comfort. Siruis kissed him, and every single thought flew away from his mind.

He didn't even think of resisting.

* * *

He traces Sirius' jaw line with a slender digit, fingertip taking in every line, crevice and shape in the other boy's face.

He sits up, hands raking through light brown hair as if he wanted to pull it from his scalp. Remus gathers his knees to his chest, arms hugging them close and head resting on top of them. The sunlight is starting to fill the room, light filtering through thick scarlet velvet and illuminating both boys' faces in an eerie reddish kind of way.

Sirius stirs a little, hands searching and finding nothing but thin air; eyes still closed. He grasps the pillow instead and his breathing grows shallow again, having only being half awake for mere seconds. The werewolf pays no mind, as busy as he is as drowning in self-pity.

Remus doesn't know how he can torture himself so, going back and back again to the sinful (and yet so tempting) drug Siruis is. He's sure he'll explode one day, finally fed up with taking every little whim the almost aristocrat could think of and then acting as if everything was so bloody normal and nice – never mind the fact that he could barely walk – and not being able to complain if Mr. Dazzling Smile went out with other three stunning girls at the same time – and he couldn't, Sirius had told him, words tactfully disguised as playful banter; and Remus had been way too needy and would have agreed to anything at that moment; even if it had been a suggestion of a threesome with Severus Snape.

And yet every time the black-haired boy would just look at him in that smoldering way, hands on both sides of his face and a smile painted in his face that Remus likes to think was just for him; all of his thoughts of ending this charade of a relationship would just fly away from his head, drowning in the dark pit of his lustful desires along with the rest of his shredded will.

The worst part is the acting though, when he has to sit with his four best friends and smile as he just hadn't been shagged out of his bloody mind by the same girl-ogling boy sitting next to him. The act is decaying, and he's starting to think James suspects something. Remus looks at hmself in the mirror and understands why. He looks more haggard than usual, and his eyes are always tinted with longing this days (for something tangible, and if he dared to hope; real), and good old James is a good actor too at the end of the day; charming every single teacher and getting his way out of detentions through sheer personality. Surely he can recognize a lie when he sees one.

He doesn't know what to think of it, but he reckons he'd rather die that get pity looks. He's had enough of those for the rest of his lifetime, thank you very much. Sirius gets close to him in the bed, smiling contently when he finds a source of body heat. Remus smiles, just as he always does for him since he once told him he looked better with a smile on his face.

It isn't healthy, and the worst part is that he doesn't particularly minds.


End file.
